RETRACTION: Area Woman to Give Birth to Delicious Rotisserie Chicken

     The editors of would like to apologize to the family of Mr. and Mrs Brian Smith. We originally reported that Mrs. Jennifer Smith was carrying a delicious rotisserie chicken but it turns out we were incorrect. Mrs. Smith was in fact carrying twin boys and gave birth last week.
     Twin boys Harry Patrick and Vincent Something Smith were born on or around August 10th in Coon Rapids, MN. Both mother and children are doing well, despite having to put up with dad's projectile vomiting and other cholera-like symptoms.
     We express the deepest apologies for this inaccuracy but do admit that now we are hungry for garlic seasoned new potatoes.