Wisdom From a Mountain-Goat
Sometimes it is good to get perspective from a direction you don't
normally travel. This month, we will be getting advice, anecdotes and
home spun wisdom from the noble North American Mountain Goat.
Greetings bipeds. I am Nosratofor The Stout. There are many things I
have to tell you. First. Do not call me Goat. This is an insult of the
highest order. Goats eat tin cans and are attractions at petting zoos. I
am a Bighorn Sheep. Nobility where I come from. Sort of like your Army
Rangers. So don't call me a goat.
You know what I find funny? These bicycle machines you call a mountain
bike. I see fat man riding a bike on a paved trail. How is this a
mountain bike then? Try sexing a ewe on the top of 1000 foot wall
without losing my balance. And that is after ramming my head against
other males for this right to sex them. Imagine having to make sex at
Boston emergency room after Yankees defeat Red Sox on souvenir bat day.
Must be the same thing.
And these players of your football games? This is a joke. If you want to
discuss concussions, your hits are like paperbag popping. My hits are
like hand grenade. Makes me wonder how your kind has become dominant
Oh advice? OK, live well, enjoy sunshine, take the time to look around
and appreciate the small things. Yes. And of course make the sex, and
smash opponents with your head.