Area Man Eats Entire Breakfast
Entree in .034 Seconds
Friend to the do.com and renound speed
eater Chip Gorney [chip-GORE-knee] while relaxing on a family
getaway to the great Southwest consumed two large pancakes and a portion
of the accompanying fruit garnish in less than one second. An
incredible feat, without question. He has always been a fast eater, but
it should be noted that he usually saves that kind of performance for
Christmas or Thanksgiving.
You would think speed-eating with that kind of ferocity
would make a noise like knife on fork or the clatter of fork against the
plate, but it didn't. Witnesses say they didn't really hear
anything, but I did feel a rush of air and then the plate was just
When asked about this feat he shrugged, raising the
corners of his oversized mustache "I dunno, I was just hungry I
guess..." he replied, looking idly at the end of his cigar."