Area Holy Man Reportedly 'Like, A Total Booze Hound'  
      I was at a get together with some people I used to work with at a hotel bar, and who comes in but the Dahlia Lama.  The flowing robes, the majesty...striking.  So I keep buying him Tom Collins all night and I am thinking he is going to impart some spirituality on me or say something profound, but at the end of the night he makes like he is getting ready to leave.  I am looking at a $230 bar tab and he thinks he is going to just walk away?
     So I say " Hey Dahli...how about...you know...a little something for the effort.  He turns to me and says "Gung...Gunga-la-gunga" which means that upon my death bed I will receive total consciousness.  So I got that going for me.  Which is nice.
     Plus he gave me a buy one get one coupon for Chipotle.