Area Man Turns 40, Fails in Bid to Eat 40 Pieces of Cake
  During what is know as "The Power Hour", Birthday boy Dave O'Brien attempted to eat a piece of "Lemon Butterfluff White" cake for each year since birth.
Lawmakers, who very much want this dangerous practice banned say this is exactly why the stunt should be outlawed. State House Representative for District 48B Peggy Newhouse-Vandercleve said "Here you have a forty year old man, trying to eat several thousand calories, hundreds of grams of sugars and carbs, not to mention the saturated fats. This kind of binge party eating could be the trigger for a heart attack, diabetes or stroke"
When asked, a clearly unsteady Dave replied "I dunno, the last thing a remember was getting up to piece number 30 something and I blacked out. I am going to try and finish up before midnight, but I don't know...I might throw up...why did it have to be lemon?