An Open Letter To My Hair
     Hi Hair.  It's me Dave.  Just wondering what the deal is here.  You're really putting me in a awkward place.  Are you going to stick around or going to fall out?  I think it is unfair to leave me in limbo like this.  I have been cutting you short for so many years now with the understanding that you were leaving.  But now I have grown you out to see where we stand.  You used to crush the cowlicks and weird hills and valleys under your massive weight.  Now there is this thinning layer like a cattail marsh in the winter, with spots you can see right through. 
     Now c'mon here, I think you owe me the courtesy of an answer.

 

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