Area Man Embraces German Holiday Tradition
     I used to get Christmas time visits from Krampus.  He would beat me with sticks and chains, threaten that he would put me in his wicker basket and return to hell with me.  But every year, he would come back with the whole "Are you kidding me?  Last year you promised to be good!".
     One year he even put me in the basket and hauled me over to Ricky Olsen's house to have Ricky beat the tar out of me in a failed attempt at reform.  Kind of an Ecclesiastical Scarred Straight program.
     But the next year he would come back with that disappointed look on his demonic face, carrying a list of naughty things I had done.  Well, we finally agreed to disagree and that was the last I saw of Krumpas.
     When asked if this was an accurate account of his trips to Davy's house in the 70's, "So help me God, that kid..." was all he would say, placing his black, scaly forehead in his hands.