Things I Shall Miss About My Thirties
     As I turn forty this month, I thought I would compile a short list of things I will miss about being 30-something:

  • Choosing whether or not to make a small fart when lifting heavy things
  • 6 hour hangover recovery time
  • Not checking what is on HBO before deciding whether or not to have sex
  • Not thinking about my 401K constantly
  • Worrying about crying baby, rather than what mouthy pre-teen is up to
  • No 'pointer-finger' exams
  • High impact sports / activity
  • Remembering why I got up and went into the garage
  • Knowing how to set any VCR without help
  • Not bringing a 'light-jacket' everywhere
  • Not thinking all music is being played a little too loud
  • Wearing t-shirt and shorts to work
  • Not being called 'sir' by punk behind the counter
  • Not being called 'sir' by the arresting officer
  • Fully digesting dairy products
  • Caring if I look stupid checking the mail in nothing but shorts, a winter jacket and flip-flops
  • No mandatory nighttime pee-pee trips

     It was a good run.

Home | The Archive | My Favorites | Dave's Opinion | Gracie's Corner | Ask Dave!
The Fake News | Comedy | Pictures | Golf Salad | Media Clips | FAQ

A Product of Brown Dog Studios 2018. All Rights Reserved.

Want to contact Dave?  Catch him at